girl psychology

So I just found another post on the hookup culture from rachelsimmons.com. Seems to be a big topic of discussion lots of places.

I also decided this morning that if I ever go back to school... which is a VERY big if, but if that happens... I think I want to study girl psychology because I am FASCINATED by it! Why girls do the things we do, things like the hookup culture, the way different things affect girls... I love to read books, articles and blog posts about it, and am completely fascinated by it. Which is kind of funny, because a lot of people would probably think that means I'm completely feminist. I'm not. I want to be a 1950's housewife.

Okay, those are my random lunch break thoughts! :)

--Pearls

I need a job!!!

Today I found out I got turned away from another performance opportunity.
So thats....
St Louis Opera theatre, Seagle Colony and Ashlawn Festival.
Still have the Waiting list for Bervard,
Yet to audition for Opera North and Manhattan School Program.

I'm just getting more and more frustrated. I know it's supposed to take a while to get your feet off the ground, and I'm not upset about getting rejected from all of this summer festivals, I just REALLY don't want to be at home for another summer. I REALLY don't want to be home.

Opera North Audition on friday, and I am running a 101 fever today...

great.

the kissing ban

So... you might look at my 24 by 24 list and wonder... what's the deal with #5 (hold off on kissing any more boys for the next 5 months while I figure out my life)???

I know, it sounds kind of weird to be on a list of things I want to do before I turn 24. But I stumbled across this blog post recently that I thought was great: how to survive the hookup culture. It describes "dating" today well. There's also a book I love that talks about this same issue:

So, I easily could go on a rant about this whole hookup culture, but instead I'm just going to give you a quick insight into my reason behind the kissing ban. But read the blog post and the book on the subject... I highly recommend them both!

So, here's my deal. I've never had a "real" boyfriend. I've dated, I've had guy friends who I spent a lot of time with and occasionally made out with, I've kissed a random boy or two, I've had all kinds of dating experiences--except for the relationship experience.

Some of its been fun. Some of it has been miserable. I've gone on plenty of first dates, but I rarely want to go on a second. The guys I tend to be really attracted to are guys that I'm friends with first, but somehow that never really seems to work out for me--things always seem to start going somewhere, and then something comes up and it just doesn't happen. So I'm almost 24 and have never been in a serious relationship.

That's something I'd like to change! Obviously, I don't want to date someone just for the sake of being in a relationship, but I also don't want to do anymore of these silly games where you hang out and make out and get excited because you think maybe, just maybe, this time it'll actually go somewhere--but then it doesn't. I figured in order to change the outcome, maybe changing my behavior is a good first step. Now, I don't run around just kissing any boy I see. But if there is an attraction, and they make the first move, I'm usually open to it. Apparently, that doesn't work though--those seem to be the boys that are just looking for someone to kiss.

If I want a boy who is interested in more than just kissing me--maybe I should just take that option away for a while, and then if I find a boy who is willing to stick around even if he has to work really hard and wait awhile for that first kiss... well hopefully, that'll be a boy worth keeping around!

So... until I turn 24, there's a kissing ban in place... maybe I'll meet a great guy who is willing to wait til then to kiss me, maybe I'll just figure out how to navigate my way through the hookup culture without getting sucked into it. Either way, I think it's better than the endless string of lame first dates and kisses and wondering why the kisses never turn into relationships.

Music Monday: Alternative

So here we are. Another Music Monday. and this music Monday I haven't really decided what artist I want to support.

So i'm letting my Itunes decide for me! hurray for Itunes Genius.

So here are some of the top 25 songs i've been listening to this past week:
(all of which are good... and you should listen to!)

1. Hey, Soul Sister: Train
(Train always seems to come out of nowhere and blows me away with a song that will probably define the stage of life that I'm in at that moment. Ex. Drops of Jupiter... i think every 20 something feels similar. )
2. Rilo Kiley: Potions for Foxes
(great driving song)
3. Avett Brothers: Laundry Room
(some of the most bittersweet lyrics I have ever heard.)
4. Celine Dion: It's All Coming Back to Me Now
(for old times sake :) )
5. Chatham County Line: The Carolinian
(not only because I actually live on the Chatham County line, but because this song is awesome. and if you are from North Carolina, it's familiar lyrics, which is great.)
6. Colin Hay: Over Kill (acoustic version)
(I have to give props to Colin Hay, his music is some of my favorite alternative rock out there, and again if you are a fan of Scrubs or just Zach Braff in general, his music is on both the soundtracks for Scrubs and Garden State.)
7. Del Amitri: Tell Her This
(sweet, short song, lyrics are what every girl wants to hear. I promise.)
8. Grace Potter and the Nocturnals: Apologies
(I love piano songs. anything from Sarah Barilles to Billy Joel to the Fray and Vanessa Carleton. If you also enjoy this genre, please look up at least this song by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. also Falling or Flying, which is another great song. The lyrics to Apologies are very gripping, I know when I was going through a breakup this song actually was a source of comfort, in a kind of weird way.)
9. Ingrid Michaelson: Snowfall.
(precious song. kind of christmas-y, but always puts me in a good mood.)
10. Kate Nash: Foundations
(what can I say, it's the angry bitter chick rocker in me...)
11. Keane: Somewhere Only We Know
(I have been obsessed with this song since I saw the movie He's Just Not That Into You. again I think it's the Piano effect.)
12. Michael Tolcher: Sooner or Later
(such sweet lyrics and it's got a nice percussion beat. The lyrics read almost like a letter from a father to a son. seriously, so sweet. "Sooner or Later, we'll look back on everything, we'll laugh about it like we knew that it was happening. Someday you might listen to what people have to say, but now you learn the hard way...")
13. Old 97's: Question
(Proposal Story. So Sweet. LISTEN TO THIS SONG!)
14. Peter Gabriel: Book of Love
(One word. Strings. I'm absolutely sold.)
15. Pete Murray: Opportunity
(If you are into boys playing guitar, look no further than Pete Murray. Acoustic, with slight background vocals, reminds me of the stuff my friends would play when we would sit around a bond fire, just having a jam session. I could listen to it forever.)
16. Say Anything...: Alive With The Glory Of Love
(I LOVE THIS SONG. you have to listen to the lyrics, that is mandatory other wise it just sounds like a bunch of screaming. The lyrics are kind of explicit, but so wonderful at the same time. It's a boy speaking to a girl, but in the concentration camps of WWII. tragically beautiful. "I'll know my purpose, this war was worth it. I won't let you down.")
17. Seabird: Joy To The World
(gotta get my Jesus in. This song is an awesome resetting of Joy to the World, if you are looking for more modern Christmas music.)
18. Regina Spektor: Us
(500 days of summer soundtrack is AMAZING. see the movie. Buy the soundtrack. you will not regret it.)



OK that's it for me tonight! I'll be back soon to update on life!!!


Patagonia

check!

I'm super excited, because I'm ready to cross one thing off my 24-by-24 list! #2 on the list is to find a church to attend, and I've found one! I've gone to this church off and on (much more off than on) for a couple of years, but just wasn't ready to commit to anything and kept on making up reasons not to go. But, now that I've started to look for a church, I realized I really didn't have to look far! It's a great church, with a great vision and I'm excited to start going consistently!

The first thing checked off my list... exciting! And good thing to, because 24 will be here before I know it!

raindrops on roses & whiskers on kittens...

bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

brown paper packages tied up with strings

these are a few of my favorite things!

I'm excited about this weekend because it promises to hold some of my favorite things:

1. Warmer weather: the highs are breaking 50 for the first time in what seems like months. I am very much a summer girl, and this winter has been painful! I don't think I've ever been so excited to look at the weather and see 50 degrees!

2. Gone with the Wind: tonight, my friend Surfer Chick and I are going to see the play "Don't Cry For Me, Margaret Mitchell". It's supposed to be a "hysterical, historically-based look at what might have happened during the screenwriting process of 'Gone With the Wind'." I love GWTW--it is on the top of my favorites list for both books and movies, so I'm excited about this play!

3. Adorable children: tomorrow, a precious little girl I babysit some is having her 4th birthday party--and it is a pink party! How cute!

4. My alma mater: tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to visit some friends who still go to the college I graduated from... I'm excited to go back, and to see old friends!

5. Delicious cupcakes: tonight before the play, Surfer Chick and I are going to try to run by the cutest little bakery that has AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, DELICIOUS, AMAZING cupcakes... and this week the flavor of the week is funfetti! So good!

Anyone out there doing any of their favorite things this weekend?

Country-Music Marathon

So yesterday, I got talked into running the Country-Music Marathon (1/2 of it anyways) in Nashville on April 24th. I'm training for a half marathon anyways, it's part of my 24-by-24, but I didn't realize it would be happening so soon. Very Soon, that date feels like it's looming over me now. I look at my calender and I'm like... Oh No, that is only two months away, and at this moment I can't run more than 3 miles without passing out on the street and calling someone to come get me....


Bottom line... I think I am in trouble. I need training!

But I got talked into this by a very cute guy who has sat next to me for the last three years in my music classes, but for some reason I looked at him at the end of last semester and was like, whoa, you are an awesome guy, why have I not noticed you before? And then I remembered, Oh yes, my mere presence used irritate the heck out of you. Well, apparently the tables have turned, because we have pretty much done ever assignment together since the moment he realized that I wasn't an obnoxious freshman anymore. Well at least it started with assignments, then it spread to being at the coffee shop the same time every morning, then it's sitting together at the coffee shop, then it's laughing, a lot. usually at my expense, but I'm ok with that...


Anyways, this guy, for now lets call him Mountain Man (because he is one), and I were talking about how I wanted to run a half marathon. He said I should run the one in Nashville with him, and I was like of course I'd love too! not realizing it as 2 months away, and then offers to drive me out there because there was no need for both of us to drive 8 hours when we could do it together. So Mountain Man and I's relationship just went from wow, I really can't stand you, to I want to spend 16 hours in a car with you, in only a matter of a couple of weeks. I don't know about you, but i really want to know what is going on inside this boys head.


This is the funny part of the story now. So we went to the gym to start training because it's so cold outside still... (ps. it's flipping NC, i feel like it should be warmer than 40's) and we were running, i was trying to match his pace, which is hard, because he's a very tall person, and my legs are kind of short, and needless to say it ended up poorly for me. I got over confident, as I normally do when I try to be flirty, tripped, literally flung off the treadmill and into the elliptical machines behind us....

Worst.Experience.Ever.

so much for me being fun, cute and athletic.
After he got done laughing, he helped me up. but I could still tell he was laughing at me.
And now i have giant bruises all over my legs.


what can I say. I'm not the smoothest person that ever walked the earth.


Patagonia

interview: round 1

So... I had my interview for the job I REALLY want. I think it went well. I felt good about the interview when I left. I feel like I gave it my best shot. So now it is a waiting game to see if I get to round 2...

There is A LOT of competition for this job. I actually had lunch with one of my competitors yesterday after his interview. It's an interesting situation, because while we've known each other for a while, it's just been in the past month or two that we've really started to become friends. So we became friends... and then we discovered that we had both applied for this job. And we both REALLY want it. AND he's Patagonia's brother (sorry Patagonia if it's awkward to listen to both of us talk about it)!!! We'll call him Bowtie for now.

So, Bowtie and I have lunch yesterday. We both feel good about our interviews. We both really want the job. We both have similar backgrounds that make us pretty well qualified. BUT... we are friends. So, we want to be supportive of each other too. I feel like so far, we are doing a pretty good job of handling the slightly strange dynamics of our new friendship, but if we both make it to round 2... things will get interesting! Right now it's us and a lot of other people, but round 2 will knock it down significantly. We'll see what happens. Hopefully, by the middle of next week we'll know if we made it or not!

Until then... I guess I just have to wait!

SIDE NOTE: When I graduated from college, I discovered it was NOT EASY for me to find people I really clicked with and wanted to be friends with. In college, it was so easy to find people who you clicked with, because there were so many people, in the same stage of life, with similar interests, right there all living in the same buildings! But then I started working... and at the branch of my organization that I work with, there are 5 of us full-time. The town I live in is a lot of young families, but not many young single people. So finding friends has taken quite a bit of effort. Last spring, I met two girls who work at other branches that I really clicked with, and I am so thankful that I met them! But, the people I really click with post-college have been few and far between, so I'm really excited that Bowtie and I have become friends, because he's a great guy and a lot of fun... so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that our relatively new friendship can navigate the competing-for-jobs-waters safely!

#1 on my shopping list...

i LOVE this dress from boden.

i wear skirts and dresses almost exclusively, so i'm always on the lookout for new cute new ones! however, on the non-profit salary i definitely have to prioritize my purchases. but... i think this one might be making it to the top of my priority list!!!

Sorry! One Last Thing!

Also... before I leave for real!

I saw one of my friends around campus today and she had on the most flattering pair of jeans I had ever seen. So I stopped her and asked her she said they were Madewell jeans. It's a sister company of J. Crew. Ok Seriously... brand new must have item, at least on my list, I was in line for a new pair of jeans anyways, and I have tried on madewell jeans before and they look flattering on everyone. But the best news! they aren't that expensive. They cost a lot less than the pair of Joe's Jeans that I own. So. More about Madewell later, when I go to the store and look at them for myself!

www.madewell1937.com

Patagonia

Debussy and Joshua Radin: Music Monday

If You've ever been in college, you will understand the hatred behind to next two words I am going to write.


All.Nigher. (and the horrible sick to your stomach feeling you have the whole day after).


last night, I was up all night analyzing the reduced score of Claude Debussy's Prelude to the Afternoon of the Faun. Fun right? Actually it's not that bad, really, it's not, It's a beautiful piece of music. But I have a professor that believes in me more than I believe in myself, you know the kind, and pushes me harder than most of my classmates. I'm sure one day I will be so thankful for that push, but today is not that day.


However, I managed to get through the assignment with a couple of friends who are in the class, and this relaxing music of Joshua Radin.

If you haven't heard of him, this is my first service announcement to introduce you to him, his music is awesome! If you've watched the sitcom Scrubs, or seen the movies Dear John or The Last Kiss then you have probably heard his music. If you are interested here is the link!

www.joshuaradin.com
good song options:
Paperweight (My personal Favorite!)
You've Got Growing Up To Do
I'd Rather Be With You
They Bring Me To You
Girlfriend in a Coma
...pretty much everything. I don't think there's a song i'm not a fan of.

look his music up, it will be a good decision, AND i saw him live and he is an awesome performer as well, which is such a plus to see someone coming onto the popular music scene who is actually a musician. I once heard his music described as "It's like waking up from a great nap, and feeling totally refreshed." I agree, he's kind of in the "whisper rock" genre, very acoustic, guitar, drums that sort of thing. But the songs are legit. So Check it out! Of course there are others as well, but we will have to wait until next monday to talk about them!

So that was my first Music Monday! hope you enjoy it!

since I haven't slept all night I'm going to head to bed! But I hope everyone had a great Valentines Day!

Patagonia!

PS! my 24-24 list is up! check it out!

easier said than done

Going to church. Sounds like it should be so easy. I grew up going to church. I spent every Sunday from 8:30 am until about 8:30 pm at church all of middle and high school, leaving for just an hour or two to get lunch--with people from church, of course. I played handbells, sang in the choir (despite my complete lack of musical ability), went to Sunday School and youth group... I did it all. Then I went to college. I got really involved in a ministry. I was a leader, which was kind of like a part time job. I met some really amazing people (like Patagonia!) but it was a big commitment. And there were a lot of rules.

And then I graduated from college. And for the first time EVER I didn't have rules. People didn't seem to have expectations of me anymore. If I wasn't at church on Sunday, no one was going to notice. I could stay out until 3am because I didn't have anywhere to be the next day. I'd never had such freedom with my schedule or expectations.

So I went a little crazy. Just a little--I'm probably still pretty tame compared to most, but I started going out a lot more. I didn't have anything else to do. I started sleeping through church. It didn't seem worth the effort. I started getting frustrated with a lot of things about organized religion. I was angry about the fact that the majority of my friends I graduated with moved to different parts of the country and weren't around anymore. I hung out with people I didn't really like just to have someone to hang out with.

It was an interesting year and half or so. But last spring, I finally made some good post-college friends. I started to calm down some and get some of the crazy out of my system. I figured out that I really hate clubs. I like having a drink somewhere I can talk to my friends. It's okay to go home before last call. So, as I've kind of been figuring out who my post-college self is, I've been trying on some different personalities and doing things a little differently than I've ever done them before.

In a lot of ways, it's been really good. It's probably been a wild ride for some of my friends who didn't really know what in the world I was doing, but I feel like I know with a lot more certainty what is really "me" now, because I've given myself the freedom to try some other things on. So, I'm slowly figuring out who I am, and where I fit.

I think having a break from church and organized religion was really good for me. It helped me figure a lot of things out for myself, not for what I'd been taught. But in the past month or so, I've found myself missing it. So I decided it was time to start looking for a church. I hate going to church by myself, but I know I just need to suck it up and find one I like, and then I can get involved and start making friends there.

So this morning, I sucked it up, and went to church. By myself. And it was good. Really good. I have one other church I want to try out--a more traditional one, and then I'm going to pick one, and commit to it. I'm excited. I feel good about it. I'm doing it because I want to do it, not because I'm supposed to. And that is a great feeling!

sometimes, i'm a big hot mess.

So one of the first things you, as readers, should know about me is that I have never been a "blogger". I am the person that when I walk in on my mom ready blogs, I just shake my head and roll my eyes, all to disguise that I am very jealous of these people in the "blogsphere" whose lives are interesting enough or their opinions are valid enough for others to seriously care about what they have to say. In fact, when I think about it, its kind of hilarious that I am writing in a blog about my life, because if I am being honest with myself, I think about my life and I laugh. a lot. I can't even keep a true and real journal because I'm scared someone will find it, read it, and judge me for it someday. Because, lets face it... sometimes my life is a Big Hot Mess. Usually that hot mess has something to do with guys, or school, or my future. I think it's because I'm in a time of my life that is very much in transit. I like the term "in transit" because I'm not quite in "the inbetween" yet. I'm still in school, I have some security, I still have health insurance (which to me is a HUGE deal as to my tendency for breaking bones). But I do have real issues that I'm thinking about: Do I want to go to Grad School? Do I want to join the Peace Corp? Am I ever going to be able talk to a man without getting tongue-tied an making a giant fool out of myself? These are some of the questions we are going to walk through together! I know I am excited!



I also was thinking about all of the adventures I want to have before turning 24. Which unlike Pearls, I have a lot of time, so I want my things to be bigger. Check out the 24-by-24 lists for the full deal! Mine will be coming shortly!


So, as I work through my blogger-self confidence issues I hope that you will join Pearls and me on this adventure. But hold on, it might be a crazy ride :)


Patagonia

life of a secretary

So, one of my top 5 goals on my 24 before 24 list is to find a job that challenges me. I've been in an administrative job for about a year and a half now, and I am READY FOR A CHANGE!!! I've always had these romantic notions about the 1950's and how I think it would be fun to dress in cute skirts and heels and pearls for my husband when he gets home from work and I'm putting his dinner on the table, and along with that, I had this idea that being a secretary might be kind of fun, just for a while. Well... it is most definitely NOT the job for me!!!

I took this job because I love the organization and know that it is where I want my career to be, and when I was looking for a job after college, it was a very last minute thing because I had a very sudden change of plans--and this is what was open. I love the people I work with, I love the work we do... I love everything about it EXCEPT for my job! I cringe every time the phone rings and I have to answer it with a happy voice, entering data in the computer puts me to sleep, and alphabetizing and filing papers not only drives me crazy, it also leaves me with lots of painful papercuts! Plus, I spend A LOT of time alone in the office, which is not my favorite thing.

But because I have an emotional connection to this place, it has been hard for me to figure out if I should just stick around and wait for a better job to open up, or if I should look into applying elsewhere in the organization (there are about 15 other branches in my area--all much bigger). In the past month or two, I have decided that looking for a non-administrative job is DEFINITELY what I need to be doing. So far, I've applied for two and I have one interview set up.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that one of these jobs works out, and SOON, because I went on quite the rant to Patagonia last night about the ridiculous phone calls I get on a daily basis. Apparently, even though it is 2010, people don't understand how to use a website so I have to sit on the phone with them while I give them a basic website tutorial. Reading directions is something else that seems to be quite difficult for our customers, and so I have to spend hours calling them and telling them that they've filled out a form wrong, and need to re-send it in. Fax machines are the bane of my existence, and the only thing I detest more than them is when someone repeatedly tries to fax something to our phone line. Making copies, opening mail, stuffing envelopes... these are all things that are slowly sucking the life out of me.

But... despite all of that, I'm COMFORTABLE at my job. And transition is hard for me. So because of those two things, I have spent a lot longer than I should sitting around answering the phone. But now... I am DESPERATE for a change! So it's resumes and cover letters and interviews until something works out... and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it works out soon!

--Pearls

Introducing Pearls & Patagonia!

Welcome to our blog!

We are Pearls & Patagonia, and we'll be writing about life, love, and growing up! Quick intro to us:

Pearls--loves pink, Lilly dresses, and of course, pearls! She's been out of college for almost 2 years (where did the time go?) and works for a non-profit.

Patagonia--loves Anthropologie, musical theater, and of course, Patagonia! She's a junior in college.

We both love to travel and shop, and we've recently been setting some life goals for ourselves... as we like to call them, 24 before 24--24 things we'd like to do before we turn 24. Patagonia just turned 21, so she has some time, but Pearls is going to be 24 this summer. 24 sounds like the age by which you should have started to figure out this "life as an adult" thing to us, so you'll be hearing plenty about the 24 things we want to do before we turn 24, as well as much more!

We can't wait to become friends with all of y'all in the blogosphere!