the kissing ban

So... you might look at my 24 by 24 list and wonder... what's the deal with #5 (hold off on kissing any more boys for the next 5 months while I figure out my life)???

I know, it sounds kind of weird to be on a list of things I want to do before I turn 24. But I stumbled across this blog post recently that I thought was great: how to survive the hookup culture. It describes "dating" today well. There's also a book I love that talks about this same issue:

So, I easily could go on a rant about this whole hookup culture, but instead I'm just going to give you a quick insight into my reason behind the kissing ban. But read the blog post and the book on the subject... I highly recommend them both!

So, here's my deal. I've never had a "real" boyfriend. I've dated, I've had guy friends who I spent a lot of time with and occasionally made out with, I've kissed a random boy or two, I've had all kinds of dating experiences--except for the relationship experience.

Some of its been fun. Some of it has been miserable. I've gone on plenty of first dates, but I rarely want to go on a second. The guys I tend to be really attracted to are guys that I'm friends with first, but somehow that never really seems to work out for me--things always seem to start going somewhere, and then something comes up and it just doesn't happen. So I'm almost 24 and have never been in a serious relationship.

That's something I'd like to change! Obviously, I don't want to date someone just for the sake of being in a relationship, but I also don't want to do anymore of these silly games where you hang out and make out and get excited because you think maybe, just maybe, this time it'll actually go somewhere--but then it doesn't. I figured in order to change the outcome, maybe changing my behavior is a good first step. Now, I don't run around just kissing any boy I see. But if there is an attraction, and they make the first move, I'm usually open to it. Apparently, that doesn't work though--those seem to be the boys that are just looking for someone to kiss.

If I want a boy who is interested in more than just kissing me--maybe I should just take that option away for a while, and then if I find a boy who is willing to stick around even if he has to work really hard and wait awhile for that first kiss... well hopefully, that'll be a boy worth keeping around!

So... until I turn 24, there's a kissing ban in place... maybe I'll meet a great guy who is willing to wait til then to kiss me, maybe I'll just figure out how to navigate my way through the hookup culture without getting sucked into it. Either way, I think it's better than the endless string of lame first dates and kisses and wondering why the kisses never turn into relationships.