sometimes i'm bitter...

This weekend I went to a lingerie shower for a friend of mine. There were probably around 15 people at the shower, but since I'm a childhood friend of the bride, I only knew the other bridesmaids, and one girl I had worked with in high school. Out of these 15 or so people... 3 or 4 were married, 5 or 6 were engaged, and with the exception of me and my high school work friend... everyone else was in a serious relationship.

Usually, I'm pretty okay with the fact that I'm single. I haven't met the right guy yet, I'm still young, blah blah blah. I've been a bridesmaid several times, and normally I can get through most of the wedding stuff without being too terribly worried about my lack of current prospects. But when I'm surrounded by SO MANY people oohing and ahhing over each others engagement rings, and talking about the sweet things their fiances/husbands/boyfriends do for them... I get a little bitter.

Luckily, there was another single girl there for me to commiserate with, and it was one of the few I knew! But SERIOUSLY... it's hard when you are surrounded by people all jumping on the wedding train, and I don't think I've met any eligible guys yet this year...

Maybe one of these days... I'll keep my fingers crossed!

girl psychology

So I just found another post on the hookup culture from rachelsimmons.com. Seems to be a big topic of discussion lots of places.

I also decided this morning that if I ever go back to school... which is a VERY big if, but if that happens... I think I want to study girl psychology because I am FASCINATED by it! Why girls do the things we do, things like the hookup culture, the way different things affect girls... I love to read books, articles and blog posts about it, and am completely fascinated by it. Which is kind of funny, because a lot of people would probably think that means I'm completely feminist. I'm not. I want to be a 1950's housewife.

Okay, those are my random lunch break thoughts! :)

--Pearls

I need a job!!!

Today I found out I got turned away from another performance opportunity.
So thats....
St Louis Opera theatre, Seagle Colony and Ashlawn Festival.
Still have the Waiting list for Bervard,
Yet to audition for Opera North and Manhattan School Program.

I'm just getting more and more frustrated. I know it's supposed to take a while to get your feet off the ground, and I'm not upset about getting rejected from all of this summer festivals, I just REALLY don't want to be at home for another summer. I REALLY don't want to be home.

Opera North Audition on friday, and I am running a 101 fever today...

great.

the kissing ban

So... you might look at my 24 by 24 list and wonder... what's the deal with #5 (hold off on kissing any more boys for the next 5 months while I figure out my life)???

I know, it sounds kind of weird to be on a list of things I want to do before I turn 24. But I stumbled across this blog post recently that I thought was great: how to survive the hookup culture. It describes "dating" today well. There's also a book I love that talks about this same issue:

So, I easily could go on a rant about this whole hookup culture, but instead I'm just going to give you a quick insight into my reason behind the kissing ban. But read the blog post and the book on the subject... I highly recommend them both!

So, here's my deal. I've never had a "real" boyfriend. I've dated, I've had guy friends who I spent a lot of time with and occasionally made out with, I've kissed a random boy or two, I've had all kinds of dating experiences--except for the relationship experience.

Some of its been fun. Some of it has been miserable. I've gone on plenty of first dates, but I rarely want to go on a second. The guys I tend to be really attracted to are guys that I'm friends with first, but somehow that never really seems to work out for me--things always seem to start going somewhere, and then something comes up and it just doesn't happen. So I'm almost 24 and have never been in a serious relationship.

That's something I'd like to change! Obviously, I don't want to date someone just for the sake of being in a relationship, but I also don't want to do anymore of these silly games where you hang out and make out and get excited because you think maybe, just maybe, this time it'll actually go somewhere--but then it doesn't. I figured in order to change the outcome, maybe changing my behavior is a good first step. Now, I don't run around just kissing any boy I see. But if there is an attraction, and they make the first move, I'm usually open to it. Apparently, that doesn't work though--those seem to be the boys that are just looking for someone to kiss.

If I want a boy who is interested in more than just kissing me--maybe I should just take that option away for a while, and then if I find a boy who is willing to stick around even if he has to work really hard and wait awhile for that first kiss... well hopefully, that'll be a boy worth keeping around!

So... until I turn 24, there's a kissing ban in place... maybe I'll meet a great guy who is willing to wait til then to kiss me, maybe I'll just figure out how to navigate my way through the hookup culture without getting sucked into it. Either way, I think it's better than the endless string of lame first dates and kisses and wondering why the kisses never turn into relationships.

Music Monday: Alternative

So here we are. Another Music Monday. and this music Monday I haven't really decided what artist I want to support.

So i'm letting my Itunes decide for me! hurray for Itunes Genius.

So here are some of the top 25 songs i've been listening to this past week:
(all of which are good... and you should listen to!)

1. Hey, Soul Sister: Train
(Train always seems to come out of nowhere and blows me away with a song that will probably define the stage of life that I'm in at that moment. Ex. Drops of Jupiter... i think every 20 something feels similar. )
2. Rilo Kiley: Potions for Foxes
(great driving song)
3. Avett Brothers: Laundry Room
(some of the most bittersweet lyrics I have ever heard.)
4. Celine Dion: It's All Coming Back to Me Now
(for old times sake :) )
5. Chatham County Line: The Carolinian
(not only because I actually live on the Chatham County line, but because this song is awesome. and if you are from North Carolina, it's familiar lyrics, which is great.)
6. Colin Hay: Over Kill (acoustic version)
(I have to give props to Colin Hay, his music is some of my favorite alternative rock out there, and again if you are a fan of Scrubs or just Zach Braff in general, his music is on both the soundtracks for Scrubs and Garden State.)
7. Del Amitri: Tell Her This
(sweet, short song, lyrics are what every girl wants to hear. I promise.)
8. Grace Potter and the Nocturnals: Apologies
(I love piano songs. anything from Sarah Barilles to Billy Joel to the Fray and Vanessa Carleton. If you also enjoy this genre, please look up at least this song by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. also Falling or Flying, which is another great song. The lyrics to Apologies are very gripping, I know when I was going through a breakup this song actually was a source of comfort, in a kind of weird way.)
9. Ingrid Michaelson: Snowfall.
(precious song. kind of christmas-y, but always puts me in a good mood.)
10. Kate Nash: Foundations
(what can I say, it's the angry bitter chick rocker in me...)
11. Keane: Somewhere Only We Know
(I have been obsessed with this song since I saw the movie He's Just Not That Into You. again I think it's the Piano effect.)
12. Michael Tolcher: Sooner or Later
(such sweet lyrics and it's got a nice percussion beat. The lyrics read almost like a letter from a father to a son. seriously, so sweet. "Sooner or Later, we'll look back on everything, we'll laugh about it like we knew that it was happening. Someday you might listen to what people have to say, but now you learn the hard way...")
13. Old 97's: Question
(Proposal Story. So Sweet. LISTEN TO THIS SONG!)
14. Peter Gabriel: Book of Love
(One word. Strings. I'm absolutely sold.)
15. Pete Murray: Opportunity
(If you are into boys playing guitar, look no further than Pete Murray. Acoustic, with slight background vocals, reminds me of the stuff my friends would play when we would sit around a bond fire, just having a jam session. I could listen to it forever.)
16. Say Anything...: Alive With The Glory Of Love
(I LOVE THIS SONG. you have to listen to the lyrics, that is mandatory other wise it just sounds like a bunch of screaming. The lyrics are kind of explicit, but so wonderful at the same time. It's a boy speaking to a girl, but in the concentration camps of WWII. tragically beautiful. "I'll know my purpose, this war was worth it. I won't let you down.")
17. Seabird: Joy To The World
(gotta get my Jesus in. This song is an awesome resetting of Joy to the World, if you are looking for more modern Christmas music.)
18. Regina Spektor: Us
(500 days of summer soundtrack is AMAZING. see the movie. Buy the soundtrack. you will not regret it.)



OK that's it for me tonight! I'll be back soon to update on life!!!


Patagonia

check!

I'm super excited, because I'm ready to cross one thing off my 24-by-24 list! #2 on the list is to find a church to attend, and I've found one! I've gone to this church off and on (much more off than on) for a couple of years, but just wasn't ready to commit to anything and kept on making up reasons not to go. But, now that I've started to look for a church, I realized I really didn't have to look far! It's a great church, with a great vision and I'm excited to start going consistently!

The first thing checked off my list... exciting! And good thing to, because 24 will be here before I know it!

raindrops on roses & whiskers on kittens...

bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

brown paper packages tied up with strings

these are a few of my favorite things!

I'm excited about this weekend because it promises to hold some of my favorite things:

1. Warmer weather: the highs are breaking 50 for the first time in what seems like months. I am very much a summer girl, and this winter has been painful! I don't think I've ever been so excited to look at the weather and see 50 degrees!

2. Gone with the Wind: tonight, my friend Surfer Chick and I are going to see the play "Don't Cry For Me, Margaret Mitchell". It's supposed to be a "hysterical, historically-based look at what might have happened during the screenwriting process of 'Gone With the Wind'." I love GWTW--it is on the top of my favorites list for both books and movies, so I'm excited about this play!

3. Adorable children: tomorrow, a precious little girl I babysit some is having her 4th birthday party--and it is a pink party! How cute!

4. My alma mater: tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to visit some friends who still go to the college I graduated from... I'm excited to go back, and to see old friends!

5. Delicious cupcakes: tonight before the play, Surfer Chick and I are going to try to run by the cutest little bakery that has AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, DELICIOUS, AMAZING cupcakes... and this week the flavor of the week is funfetti! So good!

Anyone out there doing any of their favorite things this weekend?